Tuesday, November 23, 2010

*This title has been redacted for security reasons*

Hello my adoring fans.

My deepest apologies for my absence, but I do have a good excuse; I had some sort of flu, and writing a blog was really the last thing on my mind. For the first few days I was distracted by the intense body aches and an eye that decided to swell shut (which I think was a separate allergic issue completely in addition to the flu. Good times). Then the fun decided for the last week to move lower. I will spare everyone the details, we've all experienced the details before, no need to relive them here, but of course the obligatory "Alien" references can be made at this point.

But now, VERY thankfully, my body seems to have fought off the alien creature trying to fight its way out of my digestive system and I am finally back to feeling like a human being again. And so, the struggle continues.

And struggle I do. All the rumors you've heard about German Bureaucracy you've heard, perhaps as you sat around camp fires at corporate retreats telling horror stories to scare the pocket protectors off each other, are completely and utterly true. I continue to struggle against Der Mann here, and I continue to loose. All of the stories you hear about "German efficiency" are lies; the Germans are not an efficient people. They only seem that way from the outside. What they are very good at is creating elaborate and overly complex systems (the German language is example #1) and sticking to those systems come hell, high water, or carpet bombing by Allied forces. Despite EVERYONE knowing that the bureaucratic system here is absolute crap, everyone accepts that there is no changing it, and they all suffer in silence. This chafes a bit against my American Can-Do Spirit (if there is such a thing any more), that sees a problem, says "let's change this thing, there's PROFIT to be made!!" and creates a new system that hopefully fixes everything. Or causes global warming, at which point there will be a class action lawsuit against me and everyone goes home happy. It's not a perfect system, but I like it better than the stagnation we get here.

But, enough of that. On to good news.

*This section has been redacted due to the sensitive nature of the material. Dissemination of this information into the above mentioned German Bureaucratic System (GBS) could lead to Bad Things, which the GBS also rejoices in doling out. For further information please see the author of this Blog in a dark alleyway or bar. Until that time any further information must for now remain Top Secret (that's German for "top secret", FYI)*

Exciting, isn't it?? I'm quite excited about it all, at the same time as I'm quite nervous. But, nothing ventured nothing gained, and all sorts of other sayings. I will keep you updated of the details of course!!*

*The above statement cannot be guaranteed in light of the security issues voiced in the above redacted section. Please see the "dark alleyway or bar" reference of redaction for information on further detail update possibilities.

So hopefully my health will hold out, as well as my money, and all visa/insurance/job situations will come together before too long. I still love this city, the GBS will not run me off, no matter how hard they try.

Until next time!
-Sean

Monday, November 1, 2010

One month down

So as of today I've officially been in Berlin for one month. As you can see from previous posts it's been eventful, and of course these posts don't even begin to capture everything that has happened. This is because there is just too much to write about, time is not always there to write about things, and because some things are not for public consumption. Here are a few things that are.

After the not so pleasing results at the Ausländerbehörde we went on a campaign to see if my date for Dec. 21st could be changed. So far no luck. I am digging in to survive until then, which will involve quite a bit of eating at generous friends' homes, not drinking much when I go out, and perhaps playing my clarinet on the street. Though it's getting cold and the last thing I need is a crack in the thing, so perhaps I'll just beg. But there are some other options as well.

One of those options would be a job, which I DO NOT have right now. That's right, I DO NOT have a job, even a small job that only pays between 400€ and 600 € a month. I would NEVER have a job like that, because that would be illegal for me to have a job like that, so you can put the entire idea directly out of your head. Don't even think about it. You'll never see me working without a visa, cause that could get me kicked out of the country. So, don't even look for me, you won't find me. That's because I DO NOT have a job.

On an unrelated note, I do have a friend who has a job though, and his boss's name is Frau Hühnerbein. That's Mrs. Chickenlegs in English. That's right, Mrs. Chickenlegs. I hear she is AWESOME, though I have yet to meet her. He has black hair with silver patches along the side like the bride of Frankenstein (though it's not in the crazy beehive hairdo, though perhaps it should be), a very nice ring in her left nostril, tattooed eye brows (which actually look amazing... I hear...), and she used to be a belly dancer. I totally want to hang out with her and chat. But of course I have not met her yet, but perhaps one day I will. If I get a job, which I DO NOT have.

In other news, some may have seen a picture of me on Facebook in a suitcase on a stage. This was part of a performance art piece that I did with my friend Julischka last Friday night. There were 5 of us, with five different things to try and "fit" in: a pair of jeans, the suitcase, a suit, a child's chair, and a pink bikini. Yes, there was full frontal nudity. Anything for art I say. Hopefully the other pictures will never come to light as I have a reputation to uphold. All of you who are laughing at that statement can stop it, right now.

I need to get a gym membership.... after seeing some pictures of me in a pink bikini this has become all too evident. I have lost quite a bit of weight, from not eating so much and the vast amount of walking I do here, which I'm LOVING, but it's time for some muscle. I figure I hopefully will have a good 6 months or so before the bikini season hits again.

The rest of the weekend was spent either NOT working or hitting various parties, which was quite fun. Berlin is party central, and I'm enjoying the social time, without a doubt. After 2 years in Montana, which was the antithesis of social time, it's a nice change. I am already getting a bit tired of it though, which is a very good thing in the end. The Germans like to go out at about 1am and stay out until sometime between 7am and 9am. Then they sleep for a few hours, have some food, and go back out. This makes Monday PAINFUL, and I'm not a really fan of that. So, after a bit here it will be a matter of finding the parties that I enjoy the most and only going to those, but for now I will just have to try them all until I find the best ones. It is a difficult life, but I live it with dignity and strength, do not pity me, much.

So we're into month 2, officially. This month will bring more adventures and hopefully more opportunities. I still need to find my own apartment, which I will be diving into more this week, hopefully I can track some students down (though I would NEVER start teaching them BEFORE getting my visa, cause that would be WRONG), and any number of other things both practical and fun. I need to find somewhere to practice the piano as well.... I've not touched one for months and it's killing me. There are a number of pieces I am dying to dive into. I should practice the clarinet too... but it's boring to play by myself, so I need to make friends with some pianists and other clarinetists.

So much to do!! I'm already exhausted just writing about it all. I need to relax I think.

Where's the next party???

Until next time, keep partying like you're in Berlin, keep voting like you're in America (down with the Tea Party crazies!!) and keep your mouths shut, I DO NOT have a job!!!! Sheesh, how many times do I need to tell you....

-Sean