After a few hours of waiting they called me back into the little room and handed me a lovely piece of paper with everything I should bring along to my fancy and very official visa appointment.
On Dec. 21st.
Yep, two months from now I can come back in, take a number, and wait to talk to someone about a visa. This is the new policy of the Ausländerbehörde; they do not see any walk-ins, only by appointment can you discuss a visa application, and since the mousy "ex"-Hitler youth blond lady I'd mentioned in the previous post only works 3 days a week she can only see so many people. So they are scheduled out months in advance.
Currently my friend Erik is on the phone seeing what can be done. He is actually talking with a human being as I type, which is kind of amazing. I'll update as to what he finds out. UPDATE The guy wasn't from the Ausländerbehörde. He connected him to the Ausländerbehörde. No one answered at the Ausländerbehörde. It just rang and rang and rang. There's really no reason for them to pick up the phone.
In the meantime I'm trying to figure out my options. None are enjoyable. I can stay here and try to scrape by for the next 2 months, but without a work visa it would mean working in some capacity under the table, which is problematic of course. Or I can go back to the States for 2 months and come back. Not that that is any less problematic.
Or I could get married. And this is really looking like a good option. You'll forgive me if I don't send out announcements, this is a business arrangement, I'll let you know when the real thing comes along.